Streams in the Desert

My journey continues on day by day, step by step, through the wilderness called "Divorce". It is a strange, heart-breaking, yet redemptive journey, with God's help of course. Its been right at 7 months since we separated and although it seems like forever, it also went by like the blinking of an eye. I guess time does that as we get older...and hopefully wiser. The past month has brought many new experiences, and many chances for me to escape my comfort zone and take a few more leaps of faith. One of the major leaps has been going through the process of becoming a member of my church. I have been attending Midtown Fellowship for about 10 years off and on...more off than on regretfully. I love this church and its people have surrounded and comforted me through the past several months as the rest of my world seemed to be crumbling. I felt God leading me to take that next step and join the church...one to get involved, but even more so to have a group of people who will keep me accountable...a family.

I wanted to share a story about my journey into membership. One of the last steps to becoming a member of the church is to go to one of the elder's homes and give your testimony among a group of other soon-to-be-members. As an introvert, I was terrified by this. God is teaching me confidence and strength in EVERY area of my life lately. That night, as I sat and listened to the other 7 or so people share, the idea of a "Desert time" in their lives was a recurring theme. I sat there thinking about what my "desert" moment was...and the only time that really kept repeating was my entire 20's. How sad is that?

As I sat and started to share my story I feel like God just gave me the words and the strength to share because I was shaking like crazy. Not many of the people at my church know that I am in the process of a divorce. I didn't feel it necessary to throw that out there to semi-strangers. But that night, I felt it was as good a time as any. As I shared that part of my story, I remember the looks on people's faces, and the almost simultaneous "awww" that inadvertantly escaped their lips. That was what I wanted to avoid. I don't want pity. This journey is a major factor in what has led me to where I am today as a Christian, and this new relationship with my Savior was founded out of utter despair and brokenness. I want my story to be about how God has brought me out of that, and the path that God is leading me on now. This new decade of life has already brought so many new revelations into my life, not only of my strength (that comes from God, not me...I'm as weak as the next gal), but of what I will be known for, and the witness that I will be of God's amazing grace and love.

I will leave with a quote from the book Streams in the Desert:

He leads us on by paths we did not know;

Upward He leads us, though our steps be slow,

Though oft we faint and falter on the way,

Though storms and darkness oft obscure the day;

Yet when the clouds are gone,

We know He leads us on.