Waiting is the hardest. I’ve never been very good at
waiting, or being patient for that matter. But alas, I’m waiting, I’m
anticipating; but this is not just another day. Today I’m awaiting a phone call
from my mother to tell me that my grandfather has gone to be with Jesus. We are
all waiting. There is nothing left to do but say goodbye and make our peace.
Its times like these when it’s very difficult to live so far
from family. I want to be there to say goodbye with the rest of my family. I have
made my peace though, so for that I’m thankful. I said goodbye at Christmas. It
was one of the hardest things I have had to do…walk out of that house knowing
that I would never see him this side of glory again. I don’t think I’m in denial;
I know what is happening. I just don’t want to see him suffer. Dying is a hard
process and I would be lying if I said that I haven’t had a couple of intense
conversations with God about why he has to suffer like this. Some things I may
never fully understand.
This I do know…I am going to miss his terribly. Life will
never be the same. I’ve been thinking about him a lot the past couple of days
because I know his time is drawing short. I can’t help but try to remember all
the good times we shared and the reasons why he means so much to me.
Carey L. Foster will always be a mystery to me. He was a man
of very few words, but when he did speak, he spoke pure wisdom. At least that
is how I saw it, but I was biased. The man that the world knew as Carey…or C.L.
Foster, was the man I knew as “Granddaddy”. I knew him as the only man to never
hurt me. I knew him as the leader of our little dysfunctional family. I knew
him as the strong hands that held my Grandmother’s hand. I knew him as the
loud, strong, voice that prayed the closing prayers at our church every Sunday.
I knew him as the man that encouraged me to go to Trevecca for school and
spread my wings in a new city (his Alma Mater). I knew him as the man that
loved dessert more than dinner. I knew him as the man who let me have the tall
seat at Christmas because I as the youngest (and I was spoiled). I knew him as
the man that encouraged me to go explore his attic (aka…museum) every time I
came to his house. I knew him as the man who always encouraged me to follow my
dreams and never give up. I knew him as the man who introduced me to my Savior.
He is my hero.
He used to sing to me…”Star Light, Star bright, first Star I
see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might…” It still makes me smile to think
about it. And I giggle when I recall the last conversation I had with him about
a year ago, before the Parkinson’s took over. We were sitting at the kitchen
island, and he was eating breakfast. I was home visiting from TN and I asked
him if he wanted a cup of coffee. He looked at me and just simply said…”No, I’m
a Christian.” I burst out laughing. It’s that deadpan sense of humor that I
will miss the most.
“When you feel the sun caress your cheek, you
will know he is there.
When you hear the wind in the trees, you will know he is there.
When you see the light dance across the water, you will know he is there.
When the clouds of life surround you, fear not as he will be the ray of sun that breaks through the darkness when you need it most.
There will be days when a moment, a song or a fragrance in the air, and you will hear his voice…the voice that says I love you!”
― Rodger Halston
When you hear the wind in the trees, you will know he is there.
When you see the light dance across the water, you will know he is there.
When the clouds of life surround you, fear not as he will be the ray of sun that breaks through the darkness when you need it most.
There will be days when a moment, a song or a fragrance in the air, and you will hear his voice…the voice that says I love you!”
― Rodger Halston
