The Christmas kind of Crazy

This past weekend I had a meltdown…it’s been a while and long overdue I believe. I guess the stress and pressure of the holidays and family issues finally got to me. I think everyone deserves a good meltdown every once in a while. My last blog touched on some topics that have been bothering me and I may not have been really clear about the intent of that blog in retrospect. The questions I posed about love may have come across as me being a “negative Nancy” about love and relationships…that is not the case at all. I am a hopeless romantic and sometimes I start questioning everything…and I mean EVERYTHING. I guess last week was one of those introspective weeks and if that blog offended anyone I apologize.

I am incredibly blessed and I want to make sure that the people in my life know how much they mean to me, especially this time of year. Some of you may know that my grandfather, the one man in my life that has never hurt me (and that is amazing) is very sick and dying slowly. It hurts me beyond words that he has to go through this and that I am so far away from my family at this time. I know it’s a struggle for everyone involved. I am trying to be strong and put on a hard candy shell again, but deep down I’m afraid. I’m also afraid of going home for the holidays because I know it is always stressful for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family so so much and I miss them tremendously, but the trip itself is stressful. I have to pick up my life, my dogs, and my carefully organized routine and drive 8 hours into chaos. Like every family, my family is full of drama, good and bad and as much as I love the people…the drama drives me bonkers. I try to avoid it at all costs.

So, between the family issues and the normal holiday craziness, I finally broke and all the “feels” as my friend Sarah calls it, came rushing out on Friday night. I have to say thank you to Jon because he was so understanding and calming during my crazy spell. I was certain he would run screaming for the hills. He is a blessing to me and I don’t tell him enough.

On Saturday Jon came over and we had the most amazing, Christmas-filled day on record. We went and picked out a real tree, hauled it home and he helped me decorate the house. We listened to Christmas music as we decorated and even hung the mistletoe. It was blissful. He even convinced me to pull out the old “classic” ornaments from my childhood and do a traditional tree. I LOVE IT!! He is an old soul and it resonates with my old soul. With the house finally decorated, it’s starting to really feel like Christmas, and I am excited. My journey this year has been bumpy, and crazy, but joyous this year. I have been incredibly blessed and I have learned to find my inner strength through all the trials. I will leave you with this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that I love so much…

“A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”