This past Sunday was the last installment of the Ruthless Redemption Series on the book of Ruth by Russ Ramsey. I have to say, this has been one of my favorite sermon series, because it has been so relevant to me. This week focused on the 4th chapter of Ruth and the concepts of Desire and Expectation. The questions that Russ asked were "What are you willing to let your heart desire?" and "How do you manage pain and expectations?"
This one hit close to home for me this week. Almost my entire life I have lived by the motto of "I'll believe it when I see it" and "Don't get your hopes up." I know that sounds sad, but coming from an alcoholic home, I have seen too many hopes and desires get shattered. I used that as a defense mechanism to keep my heart from getting hurt. It didn't work most of the time, which in turn just made me lower my expectations of people.
This sermon made me dive into those emotions and defenses and really examine them. It made me question how I deal with pain now and how I deal with life when expectations get shattered.
Russ offered two ways to deal with our pain that came from two blessings that were given in the book of Ruth:
1. Depend on God to step in and miraculously intervene in the middle of the pain. God knows the hurt we face, and He can heal our hearts if we depend on Him and allow him to step into that pain with us.
2. Deal honestly with our pain by seeing it through the lens of loss that you experienced, not denying our hiding it from yourself or the world. You don't have to pretend that you have it all figured out or that you didn't suffer the loss, or the hurt of failed expectations. You just have to deal with it and honestly seek healing.
This sermon couldn't have come at a better time for me. It was delivered on my 30th birthday; a day filled with failed expectations on my part, and the pain of spending this momentous milestone birthday alone. It is so comforting to know that I am never alone with God, and He is the only one that can love my heart completely. He is awakening new desires in me that I have buried for so long, and I am starting to recognize the desires to love and be loved again. It is wonderfully painful because I am a beautiful mess.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Ruthless Redemption- Part 2
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that my church is going through the book of Ruth for the month of January. Well this week Russ preached from Ruth 3 and told the story of Boaz redeeming Ruth as her "kinsman redeemer." I wont try to summarize Russ' message because I would not do it justice, but there were some key points that stood out to me and weaved the message of Redemption into my heart; a message that would continue to echo throughout the day. Again, God has a way of repeating himself to me so that I don't miss the message.
Russ asked us the question, "What do we do when we ask God for something and he says, Not Now?" That question resonated with me because I feel like that's what is happening in my life. I'm even at a point where I feel like God is saying NO to my prayers.
Russ went on to explain the idea of a redeemer in the days of Ruth and what that means. A redeemer was a man who would have the option to take a woman as his wife if her husband were to die or leave. The redeemer would be a relative of the husband and would have the OPTION to marry her and take her in to protect her. He was not forced by law to do this. He would only do it if he WANTED to because it was 1. expensive/costly, 2. permanent. Someone would not go into this situation lightly, and so the act of redeeming someone showed just how much they loved or cared for that woman.
Russ then went on to compare Boaz to God and related how God is our Redeemer. God doesn't have to save us, he chooses to, all because he loves us.
I left the church feeling renewed and loved by God in a way that I can't really explain. All I knew was I had been chosen by God to be loved and cared for, and no one could take that away from me.
Later in the day I went to see the movie Le Mis with Margaret from my DC class. I have to confess that I didn't know the story and really didn't know what to expect. I was blown away by this movie. The movie is a wonderful story of forgiveness, love and REDEMPTION! God was speaking to me again as I sat in that theater. He was reminding me again that he chose me and he loves me. He will protect my heart through all these trials.
The last little reminder came through music...my favorite form of messages from God. As I left the theater, this song by Big Daddy Weave came on the radio called "Redeemed." Take a listen and I hope you are blessed by it as well.
Russ asked us the question, "What do we do when we ask God for something and he says, Not Now?" That question resonated with me because I feel like that's what is happening in my life. I'm even at a point where I feel like God is saying NO to my prayers.
Russ went on to explain the idea of a redeemer in the days of Ruth and what that means. A redeemer was a man who would have the option to take a woman as his wife if her husband were to die or leave. The redeemer would be a relative of the husband and would have the OPTION to marry her and take her in to protect her. He was not forced by law to do this. He would only do it if he WANTED to because it was 1. expensive/costly, 2. permanent. Someone would not go into this situation lightly, and so the act of redeeming someone showed just how much they loved or cared for that woman.
Russ then went on to compare Boaz to God and related how God is our Redeemer. God doesn't have to save us, he chooses to, all because he loves us.
I left the church feeling renewed and loved by God in a way that I can't really explain. All I knew was I had been chosen by God to be loved and cared for, and no one could take that away from me.
Later in the day I went to see the movie Le Mis with Margaret from my DC class. I have to confess that I didn't know the story and really didn't know what to expect. I was blown away by this movie. The movie is a wonderful story of forgiveness, love and REDEMPTION! God was speaking to me again as I sat in that theater. He was reminding me again that he chose me and he loves me. He will protect my heart through all these trials.
The last little reminder came through music...my favorite form of messages from God. As I left the theater, this song by Big Daddy Weave came on the radio called "Redeemed." Take a listen and I hope you are blessed by it as well.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Ruthless Redemption
Today was an emotional day, but a redemptive day also. After
yesterday not having the energy to even get out of my pj's, I decided I
had to get out of the house today. I did miss the 9:00 service, so I
went to the 11:00 one. I think it was God-designed, because I ended up
seeing a great friend there that I wouldn't have seen if I went to the
early service. I got to church a bit early and decided to sit in the car
and read my book, Flying Solo, until time for church to start. I really
didn't want to walk into the church too early because I was feeling
really insecure and didn't want to draw any more attention to myself
than necessary. I know that may sound crazy, but that's where I was this
morning. Don't judge.
I went in and found a seat and ended up introducing myself to a few people sitting near me. It was the first Sunday of the month, and the year for that matter, which means Communion. I LOVE communion Sundays but I know that I am always an emotional wreck at the end of those services. Today was no different. God knew where my heart was this morning and I could feel His sweet spirit with me from the moment I stepped foot in the door. Every song spoke directly to my heart, especially this one:
Then Russ came up and started telling us about our next sermon series for January and I knew the message was a gift to me from God. We are going through the book of Ruth in the month of January, a chapter per week. As soon as he mentioned Ruth's name I was taken back to my dating days in college and the time I read "A Lady in Waiting". It made me realize that I should probably pick that book back up again. Some of the topics that Russ talked about this morning really spoke to me, and I spent the whole sermon trying to fight back the tears. God is so good.
Russ said that God is already working out your story for 2013 and you don't even know it yet. That gave me encouragement, because where I am at right now, it can only get better. I'm excited to see what my story will be this year.
He also said that God is involved in the details of your life, working all of it together for your good. He is working in more ways than you even know. God is in the middle of your healing process.
The story of Ruth is about two widows and their walk through suffering. I find myself walking right next to them and I was so excited when I heard that this is how we were starting the year. What a wonderful message from God this morning to me. I had just read in my book that morning that its so amazing that God is the husband to the husbandless. That was reiterated this morning in the sermon. I love how God repeats himself to me because he knows that I usually need to hear it multiple times to really understand it and apply it to my life.
After church I went and spoke to my friend "A" and she was amazing and listened to me and challenged me and prayed over me. I miss her so much, and I needed her this morning. Needless to say I was a MESS when I left the church. Its awesome to know that I can be a mess and no one will judge me for that in my church. God is so present in my life right now and its wonderful. Every tear I cry is one step closer to redemption and a new life. Praise the Lord that this is not the end of my story. To God be the glory.
"Despair is for people who know, beyond any doubt what the future is going to bring. Nobody is in that position. So depair is not only a kind of sin theologically, but also a simple mistake, because nobody actually knows. In that sense, there is hope." ~Patrick Curry
I went in and found a seat and ended up introducing myself to a few people sitting near me. It was the first Sunday of the month, and the year for that matter, which means Communion. I LOVE communion Sundays but I know that I am always an emotional wreck at the end of those services. Today was no different. God knew where my heart was this morning and I could feel His sweet spirit with me from the moment I stepped foot in the door. Every song spoke directly to my heart, especially this one:
Then Russ came up and started telling us about our next sermon series for January and I knew the message was a gift to me from God. We are going through the book of Ruth in the month of January, a chapter per week. As soon as he mentioned Ruth's name I was taken back to my dating days in college and the time I read "A Lady in Waiting". It made me realize that I should probably pick that book back up again. Some of the topics that Russ talked about this morning really spoke to me, and I spent the whole sermon trying to fight back the tears. God is so good.
Russ said that God is already working out your story for 2013 and you don't even know it yet. That gave me encouragement, because where I am at right now, it can only get better. I'm excited to see what my story will be this year.
He also said that God is involved in the details of your life, working all of it together for your good. He is working in more ways than you even know. God is in the middle of your healing process.
The story of Ruth is about two widows and their walk through suffering. I find myself walking right next to them and I was so excited when I heard that this is how we were starting the year. What a wonderful message from God this morning to me. I had just read in my book that morning that its so amazing that God is the husband to the husbandless. That was reiterated this morning in the sermon. I love how God repeats himself to me because he knows that I usually need to hear it multiple times to really understand it and apply it to my life.
After church I went and spoke to my friend "A" and she was amazing and listened to me and challenged me and prayed over me. I miss her so much, and I needed her this morning. Needless to say I was a MESS when I left the church. Its awesome to know that I can be a mess and no one will judge me for that in my church. God is so present in my life right now and its wonderful. Every tear I cry is one step closer to redemption and a new life. Praise the Lord that this is not the end of my story. To God be the glory.
"Despair is for people who know, beyond any doubt what the future is going to bring. Nobody is in that position. So depair is not only a kind of sin theologically, but also a simple mistake, because nobody actually knows. In that sense, there is hope." ~Patrick Curry
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
30 Resolutions for my 30th
Ok, with the beginning of a new month, I wanted to give a quick update on how I'm doing on my 30 for 30 goals. February updates in RED. March updates in BLUE. April and May in GREEN. June updates in ORANGE.
With the start of a new year, and the beginning of my 30th year of life...I have been reflecting and planning on a few things that I want to accomplish this year. I know most people don't keep their resolutions for the new year, and I am a past offender :) This year, its a little different for me. So here is my list for this year...(in no particular order)
With the start of a new year, and the beginning of my 30th year of life...I have been reflecting and planning on a few things that I want to accomplish this year. I know most people don't keep their resolutions for the new year, and I am a past offender :) This year, its a little different for me. So here is my list for this year...(in no particular order)
- Grow closer to God, depending on HIM to give me worth and security.
- I've started doing a daily devotional again
- I've been going to church on a regular basis now and I am learning so much.
- Beginning the process of becoming a member of my church and starting a new small group.
- I started my small group meetings at church this month and I'm having a great time with it so far. God is really teaching me how to live out grace in my life.
- To go skiing
- I went tubing with Sara at Ober Gatlinburg...it was next to skiiing :)
- To get my tattoo of a celtic star on my hip
- I didn't get the Celtic Star yet, but I did get a small star on my foot.
- To get regular chiropractic adjustments
- Dr. Dedmon adjusts me once a month :)
- Still going :)
- I fell on my knee pretty hard and screwed up my lower back. I was going to the Chiro once a week through the month of March.
- Still going every month for maintenance adjustments.
- To run a 5K each month of the year with Debbie
- Ran the Zoo Run Run on 1/26 with a time of 40:18!!
- Ran the Cupid's Chase with Debbie on 2/9 with a time of 40:15!
- Ran the Color Run with Debbie, Sarah, and Todd on 3/30. It wasn't timed.
- Ran the Purity Dairy Dash in April with a time of 37 mins
- Ran the Ellie's Run for Africa in May with a time of 39 mins
- Ran the Pillsbury Challenge 5K on 6/22 with Chris with a time of 38 mins
- To paint at least one painting a month
- Didn't paint anything this month but had one of my paintings displayed at Two Tone Art Gallery Opening :)
- I painted the Nashville skyline and started on my black bird painting
- I finished my Black Bird painting and have started on "Firefly"
- To finish remodeling my house
- Made progress on the downstairs bathroom with getting some of the tile work done
- Still working on the bathroom, but finished my china hutch and bought a new dining room table and chairs.
- did a little more work on my bedroom, including making a desk and headboard for my bed. And I planted a flower garden.
- To read one book a month
- Finished Flying Solo
- Started reading Gone with The Wind, Boundaries, and 50 Shades of Grey
- Still reading all the books above.
- I still haven't finished any of the ones above, but I started Ragamuffin Gospel :)
- Still reading all of these except 50 shades of Grey...not interested
- To go on a vacation to an exotic place
- I dont know how exotic Oak Island NC is, but I did go to the beach :)
- To pay off my car
- To watch Gone with the Wind for the first time :)
- To be more connected and engaged in my friend's lives
- I went to Gatlinburg with Sara for a girl's weekend
- I went to Fancy Gap VA with Margaret and Shannon for a girl's weekend
- To have a regular girls night
- To spoil my dogs absolutely rotten :)
- I made them their own doggie bedroom
- To find an awesome roommate
- Erika moved in this month...so far she is awesome :)
- To complete my DC classes and come out a healed, more secure person
- Completed my class and definitely feel like it helped me through this time in my life.
- To sky-dive
- To go to the shooting range
- Check! Margaret and I went to Guns & Leather for target practice.
- To get my concealed weapon permit and a new gun
- To go to at least 5 concerts, big or small
- I saw Eric Vinson, Michael Logen, Stacy Lantz and Jillian Edwards Chapman at the Blue Bird on 1/29, and went out with the girls downtown to see a band at The Silver Dollar Saloon
- Sara and I saw a great bluegrass band in Gatlinburg, and the DC girls went downtown again and saw a few more bands play at Silver Dollar
- Went to one day of CMA Fest on the Riverfront and saw Lone Star. Also went to see Shooter Jennings at Nashville Dancin'
- To not let any one person define me as a person, besides God
- To go to a Titan's and a Predator's game
- Debbie and I went to a Pred's game
- To see Duke men's basketball team play a game in person
- To get kissed a by a hot stranger...just for kicks
- Working on this one ;)
- To excel at my job and make a good impression on my bosses
- To be an awesome daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt and cousin
- To visit some Nashville landmarks that I have still yet to see
- Added a few new ones to my list while Cody and his friends were in town.
- Ride the bikes downtown on a date
- To step out of my comfort zone
- I signed up to be a greeter at my church
- God is stretching me almost everyday to get out of my comfort zone in one way or another.
- TO BE A BLESSING TO SOMEONE EVERYDAY
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